Last year I shared with you that I had been going through a difficult time in my life dealing with my depression and trying to understand my purpose in life. To be honest, everyday is a struggle because I can be pessimistic and vague. I stay in relationships that hurt me, I keep people close to me who are selfish, and I am guilty of giving people more chances than they deserve.
I do it because I love hard and that’s okay but I’m forgetting to take care of myself.
Self-help books. Buy them, rent them, download them, don’t be ashamed to walk to that section of the library, they help if you trust them. They have made me realize that I am a very flawed and tainted individual but hey, aren’t we all? I am not ashamed of who I am and who I am becoming.
Self-help books have taught me about self-love. Reflecting on the good and the bad, the lessons and the blessings, the highs and the lows, and just accepting everything as they are. You can only control so much, so why not worry about what you have control over?
Self-love is the first step to happiness. It is in my opinion. Continue reading
As I was walking into my local Whole Foods the other day I noticed a store next door called Hobby Lobby. I thought to myself “aww how nice, they are finally making stores for men” haha..WRONG! The temptation to a shop is EVERYWHERE! It’s no wonder why women are shopaholics, temptation looks us in the eyes every time we walk into a Tarjay. I guess some or even most women are just natural spenders. I, for one am not going to sugar coat it, I work to spend. I can’t even tell you how many promises I have made to myself to not shop and I just break them every time. I tried giving it up for Lent…yea, no success.
Alexis Kanda-Olmstead contemplates finding faith in the depths of her despair: “Depression is like being dead in a world that is cruelly alive.”
via I Wished to be a Sparrow (Reflections on Depression) — Discover
So last week I posted a little bit about how fear is an asshole and how it stops you in your tracks. After spending time with family and friends this past weekend and talking out loud about my fears, I was quite surprised with their feedback, especially with their support. I felt like a weight was lifted off my shoulders, I felt happy and confident, and I knew that they understood me. I really did not expect the amount of love and support I received from them and if you’re reading this, thank you for having my best interests at heart! 😊😘
“Fear is not a trivial matter. In many ways, it restricts our lives; it imprisons us.”
So I have been a little M.I.A., been fighting some big ass demons. lol. I just want to talk about something I think that we all face – knowingly or not. Maybe you don’t always feel it but when you do, you don’t know what to do. It causes anxiety, stress, heartache…and you know what it’s a real bitch. Constantly stopping you from what you want to do or pursue and to be honest, I never thought that I would be the person to even own up to this but I will, fear, it has stopped me from living my life to the fullest.
I have a huge fear of letting people down and/or disappointing them.